Maybe when we feel unloved for a long time, we can hardly feel real love at all. Instead, we dodge it, delay it, shove it aside - then we realize that we’ve lost it. We are used to grieving anyway, the normal case.
There are many times, maybe, that I’ve lost it. I can’t pinpoint exactly when but I knew I felt it. But am so used to not trusting my gut feeling and not going for it. Now, I find myself chasing after the wrong people. Mostly, a one-sided fascination. I question whether they will ever love me or not because I have given myself way too much.
But they never do. And the cycle goes on.
