Empathy: Do you have it?

Have you been told 'try to fill in other people's shoes' to understand them more?

Empathy is when you genuinely feel for what others are going through and see things from their perspective. It is simply asking “What would you feel if you were in that person’s shoes?”

I had a hard time practicing this one, but maybe now that I am older, I got better at understanding people. It is easy to be empathetic when you have first-hand experience of what a person has gone through. But does empathy exist in people who have had it easy in life? Such boils down to the context the person grew up in. Does the surrounding practice empathy? Or sufferings are treated as punishment without remorse? Do parents practice comfort, care, and support in the household? Children imbibe what parental practices are in place.

When I was young when a person had hurt me so badly, I would go after revenge to make that person suffer too. I wish they would die and become unfortunate. Then I realized that anger is a negative feeling that turns into a grudge which can eat you up inside. It can take away the life in you. I started to ask. Why do people hurt other people? Why do they find pleasure in hurting other people? Why do other people have no remorse and keep doing what they do? I was empty and numb when I started hurting people. I felt helpless and selfish. I had to fix and heal myself. It was a continuous journey of healing for me.

Sometimes, it is so easy to turn our back on people because we are not the ones who are hurting. It is easier to hurt than to get hurt after all. But the continuous cycle of hurting others will not end if there is no empathy. And if we don’t strive to heal ourselves. That choice is always ours.