Things to know before getting started on Bumble during lockdown

Are you planning to jump in the hype of online dating while lockdown has not yet ended? If you do, these things might help you get started.

Humans are designed to socialize with others. As much as we want to isolate ourselves, there is still a point when we need "connection" to survive. In this case when the pandemic has shutdown entirely our ability to physically mingle with other people, we find other ways to fill the gap. This brings us to maximizing our time virtually in the online space.

The age of smartphone technology has ignited online communication to a great extent that everything is just a tap away - food, load, friends, transportation, bills payment - and even a buddy or boyfriend. This makes seeking for companionship a lot easier than before - when snail mail was still the hip. LOL

The plethora of online dating sites or apps currently available is an indicator that many are seeking casual or deeper connection with other people, whether short-term or long term.

There's no judging here. Because that's exactly what I did.

The only difference is, I did it before the lockdown even started.

I'm writing this post to give some pointers on how to get started in a dating app. Also, injecting some learnings that I had while trying it out.

Putting yourself out there

The mere fact of posting your photos and details on a dating site is a risk itself. It's there for the public to see. And chances are, people you know will see it too. So before plunging in the virtual dating world, it is a good thing to ask yourself first if you are willing to take the risk - to expose yourself, to give your personal details and talk to strangers whom you've just met by throwing in that single "hi" or "hello".

Surely, there are many unexpected things that can happen, and most of them you won't like, but are you brave enough to wade through it to look for the right match?

As a really private person with trust issues, being on a dating site was an irony to me. The reason for jumping right in is the fact that I always need someone to talk to. I also need to try my luck on these things because I'm not getting any younger. LOL. And for a busy person like myself, a dating app is more convenient to use. So, I dared myself to try and see how far I can go.

Choose the right match not the catch

The profiles you will see can be overwhelming, not to mention the notifications that Bumble will send you every now and then just so you can keep up with the number of men online also looking for matches. Well, here's what I tell you: make it to a point that your "right" swipes are precious. Be discerning. You have the freedom to choose guys that fall within your standard.

Learn not to focus so much on the face. Always read the details and see if it matches yours. Because having the same interest matters a lot in keeping your conversations going. Also, choosing verified accounts with sufficient details provided is way better.  That makes swiping decisions a lot faster.

Know your limits

You can "BOOM" with a considerable number of men but not all of them will respond to you or even last long. It gets creepy even if you are matched with those nasty men who would ask for hook up right on. But it is a dating app, so you can't really get away from them. So long as you know what you are up for (which is not to hook up), you're good.

The key is to know when you should veer away from these guys and to learn not to take nasty comments too seriously. If he wronged you, stay away and continue swiping.

Learn about your match but don't dig too deep

Ask, ask, and ask. Bumble has given women the power to control the conversation in a way that we get to chat only those that we deem interesting to us.

Ask whatever you think is appropriate but just ensure that you are being fair as well. You can't just indulge in other person's details without even disclosing your own. It's a give and take.

Respect

Any type of interaction with other people requires a little bit of respect. Building up a connection with anyone also requires respect. Respect for time, belief, culture, background, and ideology are essential for us to not be judgmental of other people. We don't really know them that well for us to conjure perceptions based on our assumptions.

Respect begets respect after all.

But we also do know right from wrong. Giving out respect doesn't mean tolerating bad behavior of a person towards you. Know when someone is going overboard. Make sure you stand for what you believe in.

Assess yourself

Imagine yourself dealing with different men, that means different personalities and backgrounds that you need to adjust to. That itself is equal to being in the customer service, you are faced with varied people which will test your patience and anger metric at the same time.

The advantage is, you get to know how to handle different kinds of people, most especially, learn more about yourself. Some will throw very straight forward remarks that will surprise you, while some will compliment about your qualities that you were never aware of before. These things will get you thinking and see yourself in a different light.

Many of those I've chatted with didn't last for more than a day, honestly. Aside from the fact that my power chat message was the boring "HI and HELLO", I also struggle deviating from serious topics to lighter ones.

One match told me that I always talk about stimulating topics after weeks of chatting, he then continued "those get dull and boring." That stuck on me. LOL. I also learned that I'm terrible at handling flirting signs. LOL.

Ask people

Need to quench your doubts? The best way is to ask people who were using dating apps longer than you have because they've probably encountered a wider range of men than you do. In my case, friends are whom I draw feedback from. And I always get different opinions.  Once I've collated them I weigh it down with my own before making a decision.

There really is no single rule to follow for using dating apps/sites. Just be yourself and enjoy and do keep in mind that you have control over yourself. Don't get yourself tangled up with your emotions just yet because the real deal is when you get to meet your match in person - and that's the deciding factor whether you guys will push through or not.