Do grades matter more than grit?

If grades are the sole measure of a person’s worth... then I may not be deemed worthy (men I’m just surviving, drifting as I go lols) 

Funny how some people downsize someone’s worth into digits. Or are they too narrow-minded to think so? They must have not factored in, you know, other variables that make up a person as a whole. 

Because grades are just numbers that 10 years from now, I doubt would even matter. We are on and about with our lives, paying the bills, raising kids (if we happen to marry), starting a business, and probably working on that job we always wanted. 

Grit matters too, even more than grades, if you want to survive in this world.

One year in Ghent

My arrival wasn’t a pleasant one. 

The gray sky above our heads, empty streets, rainy afternoon — sort of became our welcome parade.

For me it was a normal move to a different place that I do every once in a while. Nothing special, no spark (really sounds like a downer 😅). It didn’t feel like I was in a different country at all, except that I see different races, fancy streets, and old iconic European facades. 

The pandemic probably spoiled all the excitement and fun that I had. I had my mind set on a worst-case scenario mode which continued until the end of the semester. Its a defense mechanism that I do when I don’t want disappointments to get into me (more like pretending actually 😁). 

Anyway, fast-forward with all the drama... here I am on the same city I came into a year ago but with a different vibe to it. It’s totally not the same from when I left it months ago. Life in it is back and I’m loving it.

Cheers to Jekk and I as we celebrate our one year of chasing the great perhaps, navigating through complex drama, and creating memories to last a lifetime. 😊

What we want

Maybe we are not meant for those who are fleeting and passing - when only a portion of ourselves they've come to know. 

In the end, we only want those who have seen our worst and torn selves to be part of our lives.

Barrio De Las Letras Tour in Madrid

Don Quixote de La Mancha is a book I haven’t read.

I remember we had this thin book with summaries of classic books and Don Quixote was one of those that I read which I was never interested in. 😅 I preferred Alexander Dumas’ Count of Monte Cristo, instead. 😉

Anyway, Cervantes wasn’t my go-to classic author despite being prominent.

Having the tour around Barrio de Las Letras is a good way to learn a few things about him if you care enough to know. 😅

How fucked up am I?

How fucked up am I?

I’ve been, ever since pain got me and deliberately hit me continuously. I remember running away from it rather than facing it head-on. But escaping from it is useless because, in the end, it traps me. 

You asked

What is so interesting about your dark and confusing world, you asked?

Maybe, because I can resonate with it so much. And that despite your dark world you manage to thrive. I have this unconventional attraction to those who are in the emotional abyss. I feel like I can dive freely into that deep and complicated emotions - soak myself in it until I get enough. 

Not feeling

Maybe when we feel unloved for a long time, we can hardly feel real love at all. Instead, we dodge it, delay it, shove it aside - then we realize that we’ve lost it. We are used to grieving anyway, the normal case.

There are many times, maybe, that I’ve lost it. I can’t pinpoint exactly when but I knew I felt it. But am so used to not trusting my gut feeling and not going for it. Now, I find myself chasing after the wrong people. Mostly, a one-sided fascination. I question whether they will ever love me or not because I have given myself way too much. 

But they never do. And the cycle goes on.

What passion truly means

 

You see, as a person who does or categorizes things in both extremes (like it or not), I struggle to be passionate about things I don't like doing. Ooohh if you find me doing things just fine, I might be pretending or faking it (lols) just to get by.

This statement of Francis Kong is something worth pondering about:

"Passion isn't about what you like or love to do. That could be a hobby. Passion is about doing the things you do excellently and even though at times you may not even feel like doing it."