An awful kind of death bed

Young, passionate, and hopeful. But I found myself in a place where I struggled to find my purpose. 

Salzburg: A Sound of Music Tour

The hills are alive with the sound of music... 

For my 30th Birthday, I did a 4-day tour of Austria. The greatest travel that I have done so far to pay tribute to my 3 decades of existence. 

A Filipinized Belgian

I didn't normally meet people who were fond of Filipino culture while I was studying in Belgium. My workmate at my part-time job was a rare one. I really enjoyed my stay there.  

I had a workmate in his 60s who always came to me and shared how fond he was of Filipinos and our culture. He said he visited Phil in 2007 but never came back since. But he considers it his most memorable trip ever. He couldn’t stop blabbering whenever he would share anything Filipino. “Filipinized” might be an appropriate term to describe this fondness. 

Drunk man beside me on flixbus from Amsterdam to Ghent

I found myself helpless on a bus when a drunk man sat on an empty seat beside me. In a country where people care less, good samaritans still exist.

I took a Flixbus from Amsterdam to Ghent. There was a vacant seat next to me because the bus was two-seaters. The bus made a stop in Rotterdam, and new passengers went in. I usually put things on vacant seats, but this time, I didn’t. I was high from last night’s party, so I was sleeping. Then, a drunk guy suddenly stopped by me, eyeing for empty seats, and spotted the one beside me. 

First boss

Recounting what I learned from my first-ever boss...

Just before Christmas, we lost my first-ever boss, who taught me the value of grit, hard work, punctuality, and resilience in the real world. 

Our offices were not the typical four-cornered walls but cafes and food chains at malls where we bask to get free wifi as we indulge in food that he would gladly order for us free. He loved to work outdoors, which tested our navigation skills around the Metro. For him, there were no 8 to 4 or 9 to 5 working hours. Work for him was round-the-clock as long as it was not done. 

Clean but not clean

Perhaps, we are better off cleaning the house we are renting ourselves...

We have a cleaner who comes twice a month to clean the house. She only speaks Dutch, so I always have my phone handy to translate and to keep up with the conversation in case we want something specific to be cleaned. This is for instances when I happen to be awake when she comes.

Authentic artist

I always find it fascinating whenever artists give the meaning behind their songs... it’s like knowing how deep they can get. Then I juxtapose what the song meant to me with what it actually meant to them. Interesting to find similar and varying meanings drawn from a single song.

And Reese gives that satisfaction. The depth of the lyrics and the story behind, she explains it every time she releases one song. 

Maybe I like the fact that some artists play for the love of it. Not just the money in it. Because that’s how authentic an artist can be.

I'm broken and I still am

I remember the time when I would mope at my own discrepancies. Then, I realized that it was actually the people I was surrounded with that made me feel that way.

The egoistic, individualistic culture and toxic criticisms killed all the hopes that I had. It wasn’t a good sign. I left.

But you know, when you have your fill of worst things, you view things differently. You doubt people a lot. Trust is lost. The kindness and generosity I received the past years felt like something I did not deserve. And that in some way, somehow, there is something in it for exchange. I wasn’t happy. I was lost. I sulked at the thought of what-ifs. 

I realized how broken I was. The pain I carried for so many years was burrowing a hole inside me. I was never healed; I just pretended to be. And I still am.