All it took was a YES

Early this year, I became a part of something really special. This post might be too late already yet something I shouldn't miss sharing here. 

Loving is that hard

I have friends who loved and happy, who loved but empty, who loved and got hurt and who loved mistakenly. But recently, a friend of mine confessed that she loved at the wrong time.

I am a listener when friends talk about their love life and at times, a commenter without experience. Pretty absurd right? But most of the people like me provide reasonable advice to those who become unreasonable when lost in love.  We give practical decisions which is not that easy to do but can be an eye-opener when someone become stupid. (Sorry for the word).

I asked myself, if how much it really hurts to love someone. Listening is not enough to know it. There were times when I felt like their stories were the same old song played everytime, nothing new, and I lost the sense of sympathy.  But I see the hurt in their eyes, the sincerity in their voice as they told the story one by one. As a listener, you need to comfort, you need to comment, you need to counsel. Being a confidante in this kind of situation is sometimes a matter of urgency. You don't have the experience in the first place but the beauty of it is they get the outsider's perspective of what should be done.

I still don't know it but maybe in time I will understand.

She cried

I saw a friend cry tonight. She didn't shed tears but I know her heart did.

In a public transport, she quickly took a glimpse of the man she's secretly in love with as that man took the night off to spend with the one he likes.

An isle apart, just across, sitting opposite each other. She stared in silence. The most awkward moment she could ever have. She froze in disgust and at the same time in pain. I asked her, if she's ok, she camly said "I'm ok ate".  But I know she wasn't.

Deep inside she wants the jeepney to stop so she could get off. But I admire her throughout all of it, she managed to keep it all in.

Dear Ann,

I know how you feel and it sucks. It happens to me all the time that I already learned to fake my laugh and act infront of everyone just so they won't notice. But when I'm all alone, I cry myself out, like there is no tomorrow. You wish it wasn't him or you wish you were her. Recovering can be painful, but soon you'll forget about him. I know you will.

Ate Tim

Life @23

God finds ways to touch our stubborn hearts. HE completely had me on my birthday.

Maybe I have forgotten to appreciate the kindness of people for so long, because when it comes to saying "Thank you" sincerely, I find it hard to do. I consider uttering those words as an act of sweetness, and I'm allergic to it.

Being sweet to people is just not my thing.

But others misconstrued it as being rude. I got comments from people about it but for those who knew me well, they have accepted that part of me.

However, there are cases that I feel guilty for  forgetting birthdays of my dear friends. I often settle in the assumption that a lot of people greet them anyway, so my absence from their message list wouldn't be noticed that much. Then, I thought of myself. Myself who has a very shallow happiness would jump in glee even in a short "Happy Birthday" greeting , maybe, so are them. I kept that truth to myself until I completely realized the value of showing how we care to people dear to us.

At times, our pride keeps us from doing something childish, lovable and kind. Perhaps, that's what happened to me. But the moment you decipher the importance of "caring", you will appreciate the feeling that exudes from within. Tonight people showed me how beautiful it is to be cared and loved. And for that I need to give back. Wholeheartedly.

It is a hard lesson for me to do what I don't do. But if my kind message would mean happiness to lots of people, I'll risk my pride.

To all the people who made me feel special and loved, I'm so grateful to have them in my life. They made me realize that a person who is wicked and stubborn like me deserves the kindness of their heart. And I couldn't thank them more for that.

Tonight as I turn 23, and another chapter of my life unfolds, I'll share the highlights that have made me come this far.

The past year has been a very good year for me to finally travel and test my palate, and I hope I'll have more this year.  AJJA!

My move to Nueva Ecija
This year also marks my one year here in Luzon. I remembered the first time I set foot on this place, my childhood memories came into a flashback. It was one of the things why I wanted to be in Luzon - to visit the place where I had my best childhood memories. Though I wasn't able to drop by at the place where we actually lived in, passing through that place was more than enough for me. It changed a lot. More establishments are seen anywhere. But the dunkin donuts where  I bought my first donuts with my own money was still there, as well as the school where I studied. As I saw everything that was familiar to me, photos and scenes of everything I did flickered in my mind. It was one of the best feelings I had!

First work travel

Welcome to Clark Pampanga!

City and sophisticated vibe welcomed me when we arrived in the Hotel. That was my first travel, and  I couldn't hide the excitement I had inside. For years, I thought I will never be visiting the province again, but there I was, savoring what life has to offer. So if my first visit 15 years ago was in a resort in Arayat, which I have forgotten the name. And to note I was 6 years old that time. My second, was in Clark who tells me both of tourism and history. That was more than a decade you got there!

I was in Baguio

Baguio is definitely in my travel list. When I marked it out of my check list last year, more visits ensued right then. There is something, with the place that I couldn't get enough of, maybe the hilly streets which keep me in awe of how skillful drivers park their cars, the busy market full of fresh veggies and fruits, and people - and of course strawberry, the cheap and cute bistros, and maybe the fresh air and morning breeze that greet new life. Baguio is one of the best place to be, in times of loneliness or happiness. And the nearest place to be in to have that out-of-the-country feel.

Exploring the Mt. Province

From Banaue and  Batad to Bontoc and Sagada.

That trip is the craziest I had so far. I think I got the road trip I've always wanted to do with the right people. After I almost killed myself descending and ascending that majestic place, Batad, I told myself, I definitely need exercise. Nothing caused so much pain on my knees other than the hiking in Batad. When my friends ask about the experience, I tell them that it caused me lots of sweat, sip-on, trips just to get there. But all was worth it - I just laugh at the experience and the week's can't-walk complaints. Probably the things that are very remarkable are the topload rides, walking the streets of Sagada in freezing cold (because we got wet), trying out suggested and new restos, being with a friend who tells lots of stories, and doing all the things I never do.

I'll visit that place again one of these days.

Isdaan in Tarlac
This was the first official lunch-out with my new found friends in Nueva Ecija. The resto is sort of famous in the provinces of Luzon, whose owner is said to be Heart Evangelista's Uncle. Anyway, we had our lunch in its branch in Tarlac, as the name suggests fish haven, cottages were floating on a very large fish pond. That food trip was added on my blogging list.

Sky Ranch Tagaytay and Pampanga

I don’t intend to visit amusement parks, it just so happen that we had a side trip at Sky Ranch in both Pampanga and Tagaytay. And as I go gaga over new and wild adventures, "Lets do it!"

Remember that I've always wanted to try bunjee jumping, sadly they don’t have it there. However the rides we had made it interesting for me to conquer my fears.

Nueva Vizcaya and Baler, Aurora
It was work related but I had fun accompanying our trainees to their field evaluation. Hahaha. What a pretentious me! Ok, to be honest, I had absolute fun when we ate at the street restos of Vizcaya and Baler, stayed at the beach and took some pictures, bought souvenirs, strolled the streets of Baler while we laughed at our trainee's jokes. That was the "fun" that I do only with friends but it happened there with them.

Hot Air Balloon Festival

It would have been nice if I was in that balloon, but I was not. Riding it was for rich people, huh. To spend almost 20K is unreasonable for me to do at the moment (cause I'm broke). Anyway, seeing the hot air balloons for the first time was worth the P300 ticket.

Got my passport!

Ok, initially I don't have the passport on my hands yet. But it’s going to be delivered in March. That's another cross-out on my check list there. And I hope having it will open doors to new adventures! 

As part of the learning I had in the past years, I will continue to be invincible and confident. My volunteer stint has been a very big part of my learning process and I owe most of my optimism to the VSO-ICS program. Hope this year is another year for me to appreciate what the world has to offer.  Ganbatte ne!

Mhai-mhai

I fear death. But I think she does too, that's why she's given that quick accident to not feel that much pain.

I'm afraid of funerals, I don't usually go to one because it makes me feel depressed and think of my own death. But that day was my first time to be told that someone I knew and close to me died. I can't completely understand my feelings - I was confused of whether to cry, feel shock  and stay calm. That was my first time to feel that.

It was all so sudden.

Mhai, you surprised me. I completely don't know what to say. My mind speaks a lot about it but I just couldn't grieve too much. Because a part of me says of letting go. And, all of us have to let you go.

Philippine TV has a lot of things to say, but for us - you are that simple and sweet Mhai-mhai that will always be remembered. Rest well my friend, your long travel has just started.

Funny hahaha

So I'm funny. Some of my friends say so. But I guess there is a deeper burden that lies on being funny all the time - people think you are always happy and its your sort of duty to shower them with that happiness. I would be glad if there's a job like that - to play a part in people's lives with a good cause for there is no such thing as a happy world? Right?

Personally, it delights me when I make people laugh. The compliments they give is enough for the effort I put on those punchy jokes,  but I think it is the same for all of us, making people smile give us that light feeling because you've done something good. Doing good things is innate in all of us, its just not that fully recognized in some ways.  For me there is no true laughter than from an informal conversation you have with friends.

Unknown Place worth Visiting (Amoa ni :D)

My friends visited me last April and have always wanted to travel around Bohol.  Since I am not much of a person who travels a lot I was not convinced of going to chocolate hills (which I visited many times already since I live here). They were really eager to prove that they visited Bohol through taking some pictures of chocolate hills which had become the land mark of our province.

Declining their invitation was also because of the time constraint. They were only free for three days to unwind and most of the time were spent in our fiesta. So I told them that maybe it would be best to tour around Bohol next time cause I will be probably be inviting them next year. Well to compensate for the failed travel to chocolate hills, I decided to tour them around our place and to our undiscovered mother dam which offers a great view of the mountains and fresh air. At first I thought I'll fail to amuse them but visiting the place made them glow with excitement. They can't get enough taking pictures of the view.

Approaching dam.. :S

At first you'll thought it is a lake...
(captured view of the dam)

To get a better view we climbed the rest house atop a hill took some pictures and then transferred to a hill facing the rest house to get an overlooking view of the dam.

Finally at the top of a small hill. We managed to take a pose
to ease tiredness of climbing. :D

We did a series of pose there with the same view..Hahahahahaha.. My friends were just so photoholic (just using my term).

Salve gives us a Peace sign.. :D

I told Ritch to be careful to stand on this since part of the hill is steep..
Like she cares that much.. she striked a pose anyway..hahahahahha

As if looking at something... (Where is the sun?)
If not for these two gals, I wouldn't dare strike a pose.. 

I think it is time to pose on my own... Trust me, I not really into pictures
cause I am not really photogenic plus the blemishes
are so clearly visible up close...Hmmmmmp.. Well this one doesn't show..
So this one is worth-posting!!! hahahahaha

 

Just posing a dramatic scene to change our signature cute poses.. hahahaha

Mind you the fresh air was really relaxing though we've arrived there 3:30 in the afternoon (which is really hot hot hot) we didn't feel the lurching heat on our skin. With some effort though we managed to take some good pictures. Hahahahahaha

The place was really peaceful, so we need to be really careful as we walk. Respecting unknown creatures thriving the place by saying "Tabi poh" can save you to some danger (seriously). I have visited the place many times but this was the first time I took a lot of pictures.

I ended up the photo session mah self,,,, what can you say??